The words I always meant for you to know
by Sharlyn.Night
Summary: Titans do not exist anymore, but Eren remembers them, as well as some of his friends. However, all he wants is to find the comfort of the Corporal's warmth and strong arms. But what happens when Levi walks through the coffee shop Eren works at and the man does not remember? Can their relationship start anew?
1. Soulmates

Eren Jäger had always been an impulsive boy. May it be in the present time in the year 2014 or centuries back, when titans still roamed the Earth, when he had entered the army at 15, when he had found love in someone more than twice his age.

During those harsh times, the Lance Corporal of the Survey Corps, Humanity's Strongest, had looked for an escape way from the confines of the wall and the crushing reality of battle. Just like everyone else as soon as night came. The boy had come to his Heichou, being the impulsive little shit that he was, and told him how he felt. And then, what should have been purely physical became something else.

The Corporal let Eren sleep with him in his bed, when he never let anyone do so before, not even Erwin fucking Smith.

The two cuddled and took showers together.

During training, some touches would linger longer than necessary.

Gazes would be fixed on certain body parts that had nothing to do with

the use of the 3DMG.

And then, the two became inseparable in battle.

Each glance, each flip of the body held meanings and they understood the other like if they were one. They could predict the other's movements, and also protect each other. Their relationship grew.

They became lovers.

But never, never had they admitted their feelings.

Except when Eren died.

He had said the three words he had yearned to say from the first day his 'relationship' with Levi had started.

And then he was gone from the world.

In the present day, Eren Jäger had formed back his little group of friends, with a few exceptions. There was still Armin and Mikasa, but the two were not siblings anymore and only Armin remembered. Jean was still a jerk and Marco remained the angel incarnate, together with Historia. Those three also remembered every excruciating detail. Other members of the 104th trainee squad as well, but not everyone was there. Like Franz and Hannah, the two lovebirds.

Then there were the titan shifters, like Reiner, who remembered and had expressed a thousand apologies to Eren and co from the second he saw any of them. They had all forgiven him. Berthold didn't remember, as well as Annie. Then, Ymir was nowhere in sight, which saddened Historia.

However, there was one particular person.

A short, grumpy, exigent man that was also nowhere in sight. Eren didn't give a shit about Erwin or Hanji or Mike or Moblit. The only one who mattered was Levi. And surely, if some had come back, then certainly his love, his Corporal, his Levi would also be here, reborn into this more peaceful world. Eren, as soon as he started remembering Levi at 13, never lost hope in finding him. They would be reunited.

But presently, said green eyed boy was working in a coffee shop, the Maria Café in the Shiganshina district, was aged 20, and in his 3rd year in college as an art major. The bell chimed in with its usual 'ding' and Eren looked up ready to greet the customer with the smile that was mandatory.

All the air escaped his lungs as green met steely blue. The raven neared the counter and his posture seemed so familiar that Eren pinched himself under his apron.

It hurt. So he was not dreaming. It was definitely his Lance Corporal.

"Welcome to the Maria Cafe," Eren muttered, mustering a small smile.

Levi looked up at him, but it was not there. The glint of recognition that everyone had lit up in their eyes when they saw him if they remembered.

Eren understood then. Levi did not remember, and not seeing love in his eyes hurt the younger man more than he could think.

"Excuse me. Is Reiner Braun here?" Levi asked, and his voice was exactly the same, and it did things to Eren that made his skin tingle and lit his cheeks on fire. But what the fuck did Levi need Reiner for? Surely if Reiner had met Levi before he would have told Eren. The green eyed boy couldn't suppress the sudden flare of jealousy.

"Not yet. He's on his break but he'll be back soon. And you are?" Eren asked, hoping he was not too obvious.

"Levi. Levi Ackerman, Eren."

The way his name rolled off his tongue sent shivers up and down his spine, making Eren almost forget the little pang of jealousy. Almost. Gathering enough lucidity, Eren managed, "Will you have anything then, Levi?"

Levi chukled then, and his lips curved upwards.

"I'll leave the choice to you and, I'd also like your number."

Eren's cheeks were on fire then, reddening so much that the stop sign at the end of the road should have been jealous.

He prepared Levi a black tea with cream and sugar, just like his Heichou had loved back then. And with a marker, he wrote his number on.

Winning Levi over would be easier than what he thought if said man was interested in him. Levi sat at the counter bar, and sipped at his beverage. After the first gulp, he looked at Eren with surprise painted on his features, and that was a feat considering Levi rarely showed his emotions.

"How did you know I enjoyed sugar? Because I doubt I strike up as the

sweet tooth person."

Yes. For Levi, it was impossible for people to know he craved sweet things and enjoyed cakes and sweets. For the elemental reason that he always looked as if he had just killed a puppy.

But this Eren, this boy who gave him the impression that they had met once. The boy who had immediately gained all his attention till he nearly forgot why he had come to that coffee shop had prepared a marvel for a drink. The black tea was exactly how he loved it. Okay.

Now, his interest in the brown haired boy was undoubtedly burning.

"I'm just used to preparing it that way," Eren answered, not bothering to hide the pride swelling inside him to Levi.

The bell chimed in and both Eren and Levi turned around to see Reiner come in. At the sight of Levi, Reiner froze. He always did whenever he met another member of the scouting legion for the first time in that lifetime. He was going to spurt a thousand apologies when Eren shook his head, signalling Levi did not remember.

"Levi, this is Reiner. Reiner, Levi would like to see you," Eren said before he shuffled his feet some other place to let the two talk in a bit of more privacy, the little twitch of jealousy making a comeback, but not because of the same reason. He always got jealous whenever someone approached his Levi. Yes. His. In this lifetime or the past, Levi was his and his only.

But now that Eren knew that Reiner had not met Levi before, what would Levi want with a stranger?

"Reiner Braun? This is about your girlfriend, Annie Leonhart. Have you

heard from her recently?" Levi started.

"Yes. She called just yesterday. She is in Sina, visiting her father," Reiner answered.

"I'm afraid I have very bad news. Annie Leonhart is suspected in a series of murders around Sina. I am from the BAU, a department of the FBI. I came here so you would may offer us some help."

Reiner looked like a lost puppy. His Annie would be a serial killer?

Eren observed the two retreating bodies go out the door. He didn't know what they had talked about, but it had looked pretty serious, and if Reiner, who was the epitome of discipline, had forgotten to say he was out for the rest of the day, the news had to be real shit. Thinking back, he had seen Levi show an insigina... Did that mean his lover had once again joined a law enforcement legion? Seconds later, Eren had received a text which confirmed his earlier thoughts and brought a smile greater than the Colossal Titan's on his lips. It read:

"Now that's not really ethical but fuck it. Eren, would you like to meet for lunch as soon as this case is over?

Levi."

His favourite Lance Corporal had just invited him for lunch in a lifetime where he did not remember they had been lovers. Should Eren think they really were soulmates?


	2. Sweet Tooth

Actual lunch with Eren was the farthest thing Levi could have imagined. It was so far from anything the raven had experienced before that as soon as he saw it, everything just burned away in his mind; but fuck, was it great!

Dozens upon dozens upon dozens of plates of sugary foods. Pancakes, titanic cakes such as the blackforest or the brownie cake, pastries including sweets and chocolates, and shit! There were even cupcakes.

The shorter man looked up at Eren who was seated at the table in front of him, a clear expression of disbelief on Levi's face. But the man knew that his eyes had betrayed him. From the smug smile Eren was wearing, Levi knew that he had seen past his cold and apparently indifferent demeanour. Levi was an absolute sucker for those sweetened pleasures.

Who knew that when Eren agreed to lunch and invited Levi to his place it would in fact be a sugary banquet? The man had thought of sex (yeah kill him virgins!) or even getting to know the other a little more... physically. Or he could have pressured him into telling him all details of the case with Annie Leonhart.

That bitch with killer tendencies and a serious mental condition. Memories flooded back in his mind and Levi's eyes burned with icy hatred. She had cold heartedly murdered seven people in Sina; Doctors, entrepreneurs, students. Even some fucking children! She had no specific type of victim and there was absolutely no way of saying who would be the next target. But she had an exact method for her kills. She did some multiple lacerations on their body but none too severe to kill them, rapidly at least. She let them bleed to death. Ever so slowly, she let them feel their life force leaving them. She let them feel the utter despair of death crushing in on them, enclosing them in an eternal thrashing iciness. And that's what made her a bitch that Levi could hold no compassion for, nor hold guilt for having killed her.

During the operation, the FBI had succeeded in triangulating her position and the BAU had come on the site. It was a cosy house in a nice neighbourhood of Sina. From interrogating Reiner, they had concluded she was preparing herself for a murder; her dad's. Although she was dutiful and compelled to any of her father's wishes, she held no love towards the man. The only emotions were a harboured hatred that had thrashed and burned for years, one that her boyfriend had not missed noticing every now and then.

Before she got enough time to lacerate Mr Leonhart for him to die, the BAU had made a forceful entry and had given chase to a fleeing Annie. They had nearly lost her when a shot was heard and her body fell to the ground. Annie died on her way to the hospital, but not before she was diagnosed with schizophrenia that had been triggered some months back. The father had multiple lacerations, but no major vein was touched, and he hadn't lost much blood. However, further investigation had shown he had made Annie grow up in a severe and austere environment devoid of love, where instead, fights and knives were abundant.

Eren patted Levi's shoulder, taking the older man back from his thoughts to the delicious meal in front of him. To Hell diabetes. To the Municipal Bin cholesterol. He was gonna enjoy those preparations. And if they were as good as what they looked, he would have to seriously consider proposing to Eren.

"Everything's for you Levi," Eren said and fuck if there was no hint of a flirtatious mood lingering around him. God, he wanted this young man.

"Did you prepare all that?"

"Is that this obvious?"

The man shrugged, deciding not to point out his dishevelled hair or the cream that adorned the end of his shirt or the smir of chocolate on his cheek. He looked tired, but his skin glowed like if he had just been laid. And he looked terribly fuckable right now. But the grey eyed man had a meal to enjoy, before the real deal...

He started with the strawberry shortcake and fuck; the biscuit was just perfect; golden, crispy outside but very soft inside. The cream was light and vanilla flavoured, with a slight nip of mint. The strawberries were delicious, all his taste buds singing alleluia that they were fresh. At least a person in this goddamn world still knew which strawberries worked best with cakes! He got down cloud nine with admiration in his eyes. A kid had just prepared a fucking great cake, and Levi could bet his arm. No dash it. He could bet his life that everything would be delicious.

Eren looked at him with that eye dazzling smile and the raven realised he had just smiled. He had fucking smiled! Goddamnit! Retracting his face to its usual scowl, Levi glared at him. That had the opposite effect on the young man as he just smiled even more. Apparently he knew how to get past the older man's defences because his glare faltered and his hand got to a cupcake without his knowledge. Thank you, stupid hand for betraying him!

Forfeiting the act of being the asshole, Levi tasted the brown cream on top of the cupcake. It was blissful. Levi didn't even notice Eren getting away from the table to prepare Levi a cup of black tea; he was far too preoccupied in dissecting each and every molecule that composed that marvellous cupcake. The cream was whipped by hand, with its lightness, which held no doubt. It was just the right dose of hazelnut and speculos. The egg had been justly mounted, and the sugar was not too present. Each ingredient complemented the other perfectly, none overshadowing the other.

Eren returned just as Levi had a last bite of the cupcake. The base of the pastry had been made with an ingenious mix of cacao, caramel and speculos, and the flour batter had been whipped so vigorously that all the tastes mixed together to give something simply divine. If that had been intended foreplay, then Levi wanted to take Eren right now. His dick was more than ready and willing to serve.

Eren gently laid the teacup down in front of the raven and went back to his seat. The young man had used the most fresh ingredients and had tasted the tea beforehand. Yup! It tasted just like the tea he had always prepared for Levi at night when the man had had some paperwork to do. Presently, Levi was going to serve himself a baddass sized apple pie that was shining (yeah, it was shining so much Levi could swear he was seeing himself in the glazing) when a crazy assed song filled the room. And when he says it was a crazy assed, he means obnoxious, loud, and from one of those sci-fi movies that announced major battles but had a hint of complete idiocy to them.

Sending daggers at nothing in particular, Levi picked up without even looking at the caller ID.

"HANJI! YOU SHITTY GLASSES! YOU DARED CHANGE MY FUCKING RINGTONE, AGAIN?" Levi glowered.

It was more of a statement than a question, but the brown haired girl, being as crazy as she was, answered anyway.

"Of course sweetheart! Or else who would have enough courage to? You don't give a damn, so just suck it up. Erwin wants you here ASAP, shorty midget," Hanji poured out, in her chirpy high voice.

Levi took the cup to his lips, preparing a mental swearing parade to tell her to fuck off when the drink reached his taste buds and all Hell broke loose.

There were flashes.

He saw himself and Isabel and Farlan roaming a city that seemed to be underground equipped with some machines that allowed them to fly from building to building.

Then, he was wearing a green cape and was on horseback, which was funny as Levi never learnt to ride.

Later, he was in a dimly lit office and discussing some serious shit with Erwin.

Then there was a peck of greenish blue.

A small boy with big eyes lit with awe and adoration. His brown locks fell messily on his eyes. For once, Levi didn't mind the mess too much.

Another flash, with Eren at his side, again in one of those dimly lit rooms. This Eren seemed more toned, more mature despite looking much younger, being around 15. He gave him a smile and muttered, "Corporal," before giving in to sleep.

"Levi? Sweetheart? Hello you here? Erwin will DEFINITELY bite you in the ass if you obstinate and do not listen, and God knows I didn't need that image!" Hanji sing sang, her chirpiness unwavering.

Her annoyingly increasing in volume voice brought Levi back from his daze. But he didn't give a damn. Erwin could bang a 60 year old in front of him right now and he would have not reacted. He had seen Eren in what seemed to be another lifetime. It was all too real, the taste of the tea all too familiar for it to be some dreamor some sort of instantaneous illusion or shit that a doctor might have sprouted. And those feelings that had come forward, they were scalding and consuming his whole being. He had to let them out. So he did the only thing he deemed right. He called out to the one person that had left the clearest impression on him. The one who had occupied such a great importance in that another life.

"Eren," Levi muttered.

But it was not the voice the FBI agent had used throughout the two weeks they came to know each other.

It was the Lance Corporal of the Scouting Legion that had finally called his lover after 2000 years.


	3. Decision

**Author's note:**

**Hello there! This is my first contribution to the fandom, and I am still trying to find my way around with the site, and the characters. So sorry if the story does not meet your expectations and if the characters may seem OOC for you, but practice makes perfect :D**

**Please enjoy the chapter and tell me if there are any mistakes :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not have the genius of Hajime Isamiya but if I did, Eren and Levi would be canon by now.**

* * *

><p>Levi Ackerman entered the Federal Bureau of Investigation offices in a daze. Of course, no one noticed. He passed by the secretary, Thomas Wagner, as well as his team, nicknamed the Special Operations Squad, members Petra Ral, Oruo Bozado, Erd Jinn, and Gunther Schultz without anybody noticing anything strange about his demeanour.<p>

But there was a certain heaviness in his steps, and a cloud of mixed emotions in his eyes. He entered his Boss' office, without knocking as usual, and found Hanji Zoe, the woman responsible of the logistics, in a heated argument with their boss, the Captain America like Erwin Smith. Now anybody would have been deterred to be so... vocal and expressive with their boss but it was Hanji, and Hanji was not the orthodox type of person.

Levi coughed. Once. Twice before they deemed his presence of importance, but the frown that should have been between his eyebrows because of annoyance and lack of patience was non existent. He had just seen a flash from the past.

Commander of the Souting Legion, Erwin Smith, and Squad Leader Hanji Zoe, also responsible for experimenting on their natural enemy, the titans. Their personality from the past still transpired in their present selves, just like everyone that had been reincarnated. Erwin immediately put a name on the spark of recognition that had lit Levi's eyes for a moment, and dismissed Hanji, to her great displeasure.

Once the door was closed, Erwin took an aura of seriousness that was too close to the Commander to be a coincidence, and Levi knew then. Erwin also remembered. Of course, Erwin fucking Smith would.

"Levi, when did you start remembering?" Erwin started, cautious as ever.

"This afternoon, when I had lunch with Eren." Erwin's eyes widened in surprise. Eren. The one boy that Levi had taken under his wing. Even in this lifetime, the raven had succeeded in finding his lover. "The boy was really surprised when I did," the raven confessed, almost mechanically.

"It didn't go well?" Careful Erwin, the blonde thought as he was treading on very dangerous waters.

"All the contrary in fact," and Levi smirked. "The kid was all 'oh God! you are remembering' and 'don't worry am here with you'."

"He was understanding and caring. I'm not surprised. He always was considerate towards you, but why are you so shaken?" Erwin asked, clear incomprehension in his voice.

"Because I don't know what to do, Erwin. Everything is flashing by, like a fucking monsoon flood in India and I can't do anything about it!" the man shouted, truth lacing his words.

In fact, he had been so truthful Erwin's eyebrows had shot up in his hair. How was he supposed to comfort (was it the word?) an insecure Levi? He would have tackled anything, from a sumo of 200 kg single handedly to a ninja with lethal blades to even a titan without 3DMG, but seeing Levi, Humanity's Strongest so shaken and... broken did it for him. For the first time in his life, Erwin Smith was at a loss at what to do. And his best friend was hurting.

"I... I thought I was scum. Even now. There are things I am seeing Erwin. I did horrible things. Really deadly crimes." The raven stopped then, the visions flashing in front of his eyes holding too much emotion and atrocities. Both men sat down, and Erwin gently urged Levi to continue.

"And then there is Eren. Always Eren. By my side. Always. Shit! I'm turning into a sentimental sap but. He was there, embracing me at night and fighting for Humanity when day came, when every soul disrespected him and held him in disgust. He fought like crazy. I was hurting him when I used him as a wall of flesh for manoeuvring the 3DMG. And then I had to kill him. The boy that I cared for. A boy that had dreamt of seeing the ocean more than anything. A boy who was clean. A boy who had done nothing to deserve being killed by his lover!"

The use of the l-word definitely made Erwin's brows lose themselves in his hair. Levi had never been one to convey his feelings, both in the past and now. But the Levi in front of Erwin at this moment was so nakedly honest that the blonde was helpless. How was he suppose to be of any goddamn help? He had had no lovers in the past, and the weight of the loss Levi had suffered when he had to end Eren's life had nearly broken him 2000 years ago. But the Levi then had been hardened. The human being in front of him did not lose so much. But if Erwin thought Levi was over, he was so very far from the truth.

"I cold heartedly put an end to the life of the human being that shared my life. I am worse than a fucking shit. I am a damn monster because I murdered the only kid that I had learnt to love." Levi ended, a tone of finality in his voice, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

He had let all of his feelings pour out of him like a damn fountain but he knew Erwin wouldn't shout the information on all roofs. He was very unlike a certain woman with a creepily crazy personality. However, now that he had let out all of his fears, he felt better, but as empty as ever.

Eren didn't seem traumatized at Levi remembering. Hell! The kid even seemed to be delighted to be in his presence. But could he accept the guilt? The guilt of having cut short the dreams Eren had treasured all of his short life? No. Levi could never look Eren in the face without feeling his insides crush together. How could he accept losing himself in those bright teal green eyes that spoke of unconditional love and care when he had killed the damn kid and he, the scumbag, had lived? No. He would never forgive himself. He was a monster. He was a murderer.

"Levi," Erwin spoke up, not in the commanding tone of the leader of the Scouting Legion, but as the friend that he had made all those years back at the Federal Academy. He could never comprehend the loss, but he knew Levi best. All of the raven's fears were things that only the man could fight, but Erwin could reason with him. And reasoning was one of the things Erwin Smith had always done best.

"I've always thought of how you would react when you remembered. Both you and Hanji don't, well in your case didn't, but there are others who do, like Petra as well as Gunther and Moblit. They all agree that Eren changed you back there, but in the slightest way that only the closest around you noticed. We talked a lot, and we all came to the conclusion that you were caring with him, inside your room."

At that Levi's head shot up, disbelief painted on his features.

"You still haven't remembered everything. You said you saw the two of you in bed. Did Eren seem unhappy? Did he seem to be there unwillingly? No! He loved you deeply Levi. Really deeply. We could all see that! It was thanks to you he got over the loss of his comrades, as well as the loss of his sister, Mikasa. You were there for him when he needed you, and even when he died, he had to, for the new government, and for Humanity. All titans had to disappear Levi. And he knew! But he was also complete. He had survived and fought till the end. He had helped humanity gain its freedom. And above all Levi, he was able to find love." Erwin ended and a deep silence fell in the room. It was not a heavy and tense silence, it was one that was conducive to deep thinking. And thinking, Levi did.

He tried conjuring up those memories. Mostly, he saw those terrible last battles against the titans and the organization behind them. They were bloody, imprinted with losses and immeasurable physical pain. He saw Mikasa dying, and Armin breaking down. He saw anger flash through Eren's eyes, and him shifting and taking on a dozen titans, killing them all. He saw another moment, in their room. Eren laughed and made a joke about his height. He gave the teen a kick in the shin, and the boy smiled more, cuddling Levi to sleep. He then had another flash. He saw the courtroom all over again, when he had to behead Eren in front of all the new officials. But he saw something else.

Eren muttered something, just as Levi was going to deliver the finishing blow. And he said it in a voice so low.

But it was high enough for Levi to hear.

Unfortunately it was not early enough for Levi to reciprocate.

Eren's head rolled, and Levi's heart broke.

"Levi," Erwin said, breaking the silence. "What are you going to do now? It is your choice to make alone, but think about it. You have waited 2000 years to be reunited. It is high time you pardoned yourself, and if Eren is okay with it, you should have nothing to fear. So, what is your decision?"

"My decision, huh?" Levi muttered before a look of determination came over his face. "I'm going to tell him the words I always meant for him to know."


End file.
